


Jack (Almost) Says No

by Septictrash247



Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Dark is a dick, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, I Tried, I'm Sorry, Jack is selfish, M/M, Manipulation, Mark is fucked up, Not Happy, Rough Kissing, Self-Denial, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Reflection, Sexual Fantasy, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This is good still, Unresolved Emotional Tension, dark themes, jack is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 08:15:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15636780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Septictrash247/pseuds/Septictrash247
Summary: Jack was going to do it. He was finally going to show that two faced demon that he had some self respect! However.. Things that seem good in theory, never turn out the way you’d expect.Mark tries to come to terms with some issues he’s been keeping away.





	Jack (Almost) Says No

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PoemIsDead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoemIsDead/gifts).
  * Inspired by [say my name](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13188006) by [PoemIsDead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoemIsDead/pseuds/PoemIsDead). 



> This was mainly inspired by Say My Name by PoemIsDead. I’ve wanted to write this for a while and I think it’s finally ready! Basically I guessed that Dark was a result of Mark’s repression’s and desires... But.. That’s kinda not true since the last update.. But I still hope this is serviceable! 
> 
> The setting takes place after Chapter 11.

  “You. Yes you. Yer fookin’ disgustin’. You know that?” Jack sighed harshly as he bit his lip for the billionth time this week. He looked at himself through the steamed covered mirror after the shower he had just taken. His hair, now freshly dyed, was the only comforting thing he could possibly bare to look at right now.. ‘Why?’ He asked himself. ‘Just why?’ How had the thoughts he was having now, so easy to push aside a few months ago? 

 

Because he was a stubborn and emotional bastard. That's why.

 

Jack sighed once more as he traced his marked skin. Thin fingers danced along his collar bone, tracing the small purple bruises that were left there from earlier activities.. The last time he was marked like this, he secretly beamed and held these little love bites as a badge of honor. That someone he had cherished, and cared enough about him to mark Jack as theirs.. But now, they only seemed like little inflictions of punishment for his feelings that he couldn’t escape from. He looked down in furious shame as he slid his red hooded sweatshirt over himself. He was now fully dressed but he felt so vulnerable still. And now, as he had this little moment of alone time with his thoughts. The more he thought about his situation, the more he hated himself.. 

 

He just... Handed himself over on a silver platter to the demon that lurked within soft shades of brown. He had willingly conceded and let himself be fucking demolished and wrecked, using his best friend’s body for his own desires and for what? Because he was lonely? Because he was touched starved? Because he craved someone to hold him, to make him feel like he was wanted. And boy did that demon want him.. Come to think of it, was he that different from Dark? The thought shook him to his core as goosebumps covered his arms. Feeling his face rise with heat due to painful frustration, he took a good long look in the mirror once more. He realized just how much he truly- not hated -but  **_despised_ ** himself. What a huge hypocrite he was. How desperate he was. He tried to reason that he was a good person. He had needs, he was capable of making mistakes. What was the harm in this? It’s not like.. The imposing figure hurt him right? He wasn’t allowed to. Jack had a voice, he could say no. But that was the thing.. He didn’t want to…. But then he thought about Mark’s kind face, his beaming smile. The man who gave him everything. 

 

He scrunched his eyes shut, biting the inside of his cheek. Mark’s voice rang in his ears. That same message that had been ingrained in many viewers heads for over five years. “Believe in yourself. Because I do.” 

 

No. 

 

No, he fucking couldn’t give up now. He wasn’t going to keel over. He was tough, he was determined. He had some self respect, and it was time that that thing knew what he was capable of. With a quick nod to himself, new resolve, and feeling a swelling pride flare up in his chest, he went out the door and towards his room. He knew the dark figure would be approaching soon.

  
  
  


Jack was currently pacing back and forth in his room, trying hard to focus on what exactly he wanted to say. He ran it over in his head ten times. His palms were sweaty now, and he felt cold, very cold. Wiping his hands on his worn jeans he took a shuddering breath as he reached up to move his bangs out of his eyes. That, was when the cold feeling got stronger. He froze, knowing fully well who was now currently opening his door. “Little finch~..” The voice curled around the words with great care. A caress that wasn’t impetuous. No, unlike Jack, Dark took a precious guardianship of what he said and what he did. As if the next ten years were already planned out, like everyone around him was scripted to his own accord. If something didn’t move towards his favor, they were only mild inconveniences. The idea that Dark was probably already aware of what Jack was about to do scared him. He opened and closed his hands, willing down the trembling that was matching his quicken heartbeat as the cold void of emptiness was starting to swallow everything in time with Dark’s slow and assertive strides. The hair upon the back of his neck stood on end as Dark’s smooth voice reached him. Directly, behind him. “Ah.. I forgot.” And then the suffocating aura was gone. The Irishman then let out a gasp that he didn’t realize that he was holding. He felt faint, and his knees wobble a bit. But Jack said nothing, and tried with assiduous to do his best to remain unfazed. “Is that better?” Then, as if someone suddenly turned on the surround sound and forced Jack’s ear up to the speaker, “ **My dear?** ” Cold hands then gripped his waist, tenderly, gently. That did not match the threatening tone that nearly made the younger jump straight out of his skin. But he didn’t. He didn’t flinch, or wince and then Dark pressed his lips to the side of his jawline, making the first move.

 

No. 

 

No this was the last straw. The last fucking time. He turned swiftly out of his grasp and swallowed hard. Now that he was looking into those obsidian eyes that somehow reflected red transparent light against them, he felt small. That lopsided smirk held some much unwavering confidence and charisma. Like he knew that no matter what, even if Jack said a command or told him to do something he found tedious, Dark was still getting what he wanted. It was all according to plan, his plan. Jack was only prolonging the inevitable moment where he took him into his arms, all pliant and eager to be fucked mercilessly. To be owned and treasured. Jack felt his confidence chip away, the thought was so delicious to him. But no, he scowled and reminded himself to be strong. He exhaled deeply and stared with hard eyes directly at the demon. “M’ done.” As he stated this, a crushing weight was lifted from his tight chest and shoulders. He felt.. relieved that he had finally said it. But the taller didn’t give him the response he had hoped for. Instead, with a smile still stretched across his friend’s face, he tilted his head to the side quizzically. “Beg your pardon?” He didn’t sound confused. He sounded perked with interest. Jack felt anger fume inside him and his fist clenched, as his nose scrunched up. Dark knew damn well what he meant and he had the nerve to make him explain himself. But still, Jack wasn’t without some self control. So, with another deep breath, he stated once more. “M’ done. M’ done with all of this.” At this Dark really did look confused. The creature purses his lips and slowly blink carefully. “You’re done with.. This? Done with us?” Jack’s flickered from the floor back to the creature wearing his best friend. ‘Not even best friend. Mark only as one best friend, remember?’ Jack pushed that bitter thought from his head in a sad wince. “Ye know what I foukin’ said. I want.. I want this te stop.” At this.. Dark seemed to pounder his words. And then he… He laughed. He never laughed. But he was. And it was.. Jarring. It didn’t sound right. It was genuine alright, but it wasn’t Mark’s, it was… It just wrong. “Oh that.. That’s a good jest.” Jack felt his blood boil at that. “I ain’t jokin’!” Dark just scoffed, and stretched out his hand to take a hold of the Irishman before him. “Come now, we should waist our time with qui-“ Jack just smacked that hand away. He fucking smacked it. This, got Dark’s attention. “Ye think this is a joke? Oh ho buddy, it’s not. M’ dead serious. Now stop scoffin’ at me, like ye own me.” He demanded. Oh god what was he doing? This was a demon after all, he shouldn’t- no. No this was exactly what he should’ve done. Dark knew he was scared, and that’s what made him cave so easily, he was using his fear to get what he wanted. Take the intimidation factor away, and you just have a really self conscious… Creature. Right? Dark’s face contoured into a complete austere expression. “Sean. Now let’s not be hasty-“ at that Jack laughed back in his face. “Hasty?! Oh, is- spontaneous sex too slow fer you?! Showin’ up in Mark’s life outta foukin’ nowhere. Showin’ yer self te ME outta nowhere- that too slow? THAT’S not spontaneous?” Dark’s expression never shifted. But, with a roll of his neck, he straightened up, hands clasped behind his back. He seemed, compliant to listen. Waiting patiently. “You seem like you want to talk. Tell me, what has you acting all brash? Let’s.. Talk..” At that.. At that stiff delivery, that display of underlining irritation- My god. He- he was pouting wasn’t he? Because he immediately didn’t fuck Jack onto the bed or wherever, he was- Jack laughed hard, and bitter. He laughed and doubled over clutching his stomach. He gasped out his hoarse reply. “Talk. He wants te TALK now.” He straighten up and exhaled deeply to regain his breath, hands vigorously rubbing his flushing face in frustration, and jittery nerves to do, something. 

 

“Fouk, we NEVER talk! Wanna know what’s got me so antsy eh? Okay- why do I need to pretend with you, why do you want me?! Huh!? Why?! Why just fucking tell me! Is this fun? Yeah- yeah this is fun fer you, isn't it? Riling me up, tauntin’ me- ‘oh look at me, m’ a fuckin’ sadist wearin’ a skinsuit, I have nuthin better te do so let's jus’ fuck with te emotions of my host’s best friend.’”

  
  


“Sean-“ 

 

Jack couldn’t stop now. All these repressed feelings, all the things he should’ve- wanted. No. Needed to say we’re all pouring out of his mouth with any sense of control now. He had to let it all go before his grief and guilt consumed him. He wouldn’t even let them demon try to sweet talk his way out of it. No. Not this time. And not ever again. His nostrils flared as his whole body was trying to cool itself off from his fidgety and exasperated rage. He began to pace, only briefly, but still pace all the same. Side to side. Like a metronome counting quick milliseconds instead of the usual 1..2..3.. Jack’s red rimmed eyes snapped back up to the figure in front of him.

 

“What is it then? What do ye like about me? OTHER than my body?”

 

“If you didn’t want sex, you know you can always, stop m-“

 

“NO! M’ talkin’ about MORE than sex!”

 

Dark.. Seemed to be struggling for the right things to say. And the younger felt a bit of swelling pride at this. Score one for Jack. He smirked softly to himself as he finally stopped his pacing. Arms crossed and slim chest puffing out. The elder, he laxed his shoulders, and flipped his bangs out of his eye. Voice still unwavering, still calm. A little more careful this time, but he was taking this a lot better than Jack was, and that irked him a bit. Then, shiny teeth poked through that perfect mouth, with the corners quirking up in a cooing smile.

 

“.. I believe… You knew what you were getting into, the moment we started this.. Little secret of ours.”

 

“Stop dodging te ques-“

 

“You can’t deny.. What your heart is yearning for. I know what you desire.. What you need. You relish the feeling of my body against yours. You  _ crave _ me..” 

 

He reached out again, slowly. His words, that voice. Deep, soft.. Melting chocolate.. The Irishman recognized it. But at the same time it seemed a bit unfamiliar.. Before he knew it, that sweet voice made his head fuzzy and dazed long enough before he was pressed into a firm chest. Careful fingers came up to hold his chin, tilting it up gently. He could still hear it. That purr. That soothing little purr, and those eyes. Those eyes clouded in something deep. Something the paler male couldn’t quite name.. 

 

They were kissing before he knew it. Soft lips against slightly chapped ones. Oh it was sweet, so nice.. Cool lips mouthing gingerly at him, but with firm subtext of hunger. Jack shivered in delight. He made this demon so.. Well. Thirsty for him. That was a wonderful sensation of control. Those lips pulled away, just barely to utter something. A simple command. “Open up, my sweet.” Jack hummed softly, eyes had slid closed long ago. He dared to peak, a single baby blue hue cracked open as the kissed soon held a lot more.. Possession to it. He registered the tongue invading his mouth, tickling the roof of it. Pleasant. All around sweet and pleasant. He vaguely remembers that face. Everything slipping away, except Mark’s face…… Mark’s face… Mark’s- His eyes snapped open as he stumbled back, the world and all his thoughts surging back to him, along with his panic. “NO! No, firm no! This is what m’ talkin’ about! I don’ wanna be used!” The demon’s smile just widened. He head tilted to the side fondly, with a hum to go along with it.

 

“Sean, you’re so.. Transparent.. You know that isn’t what you want.. You crave me, you… Can’t help but to.. Ache, for his touch- for my.. Touch.”

 

He outstretched his hand slightly, and Jack gulped as the taller of the two crooked his finger in a beckoning motion. A simple, little command. Dark’s gaze seemed to grow.. Softer too.

 

“Little finch.. I, can take your pain away. I, can help you forget. I, can give you anything. Why don’t you come on, then? There’s no one else here.. I’m all yours. We can be ourselves, finally.” 

 

Jack.. Honestly would’ve laughed at those exact words Mark had used himself in the context of a goofy indendo. He really would’ve. If they didn’t hold so much power when used by the demon. When Dark’s lips practically curled around those sentences. 

 

The younger thought things over. 

 

Dark had a point. He couldn’t deny everything that had happened between them. His body was now beginning to burn for that cool hand to run over his bare chest and thighs. Those dark eyes to bore into his very soul as he just..  _ Watched _ as Jack came apart right under him. And apart of him felt safe.. Felt wanted.. Felt desired. Dark’s hand reaches up and he brushed his knuckles very softly upon Jack’s cheek, brushing against it in a slow stroking motion. Jack unconsciously leaned into the touch. It felt so nice against his burning skin, and he sighed, eyes fluttering shut. Dark hummed softly as he leaned forward, and the paler male felt the muscles of his arms flex. He then dared to look. He dared to open his eyes to see that smirk spread itself across Mark’s’ fucking face. He had to remember. He had to remember that this technically was still his best friend. His poor best friend.. Jack shuddered and pulled away, taking two steps back.  “Ngh.. N-No! M’ sick, n’ tired of this, n’ I jus’…” The corners of Dark’s mouth quirked up, a fine eyebrow raised as he followed him. Jack hesitated and knew where this dance would lead if he allowed himself to be backed up against the wall. A tiny little voice chimes in saying, “Look how bad this demon wants you.. Isn’t is exciting to tease him? Let him chase you around, he’s obedient to you. He’s ‘yours’.” The thought was then trampled by his shame and guilt. He sidestepped the demon, covering his mouth as his face flushed in shame, still backing away. Dark only hummed deeply and followed. Did he hear his thoughts? No he can’t do that.. Can he? Something about that condescending smile told him that that thought couldn’t be too far off. “Running away are we? And you were so.. Intrepid a moment ago.” He teased. The poor smaller male just continued to try and avoid him from getting closer. “Stay away. Jus’ stay away Dark.” He warned. But his shaky voice and trembling chest were more than a dead give away that his command held no power. Dark’s smile widened, as if he was playing chess and found his finishing move five steps before the game even started. That only frustrated Jack more, his chest rising with unevened pants. He chose to raise his voice in hopes that yelling would somehow make him more threatening. “I’m serious! St-“ He was cut short when he backed hard into the wooden closet, an item -that he couldn’t care less about at the moment- fell from the top and hit him hard on the shoulder. It wasn’t as if it hurt really, but the frustration caught up to him and he winced and hissed harshly, cussing like a sailor. 

 

He was angry. Angry that he didn’t pay attention to his spacial awareness, angry that he had allowed Dark to corner him, angry that he couldn’t shake these feelings off. Angry at himself. Surprisingly enough, Dark dropped a bit of his act and actually rushed over to see if he was alright. Was that Dark? Is that something Dark had ever done? Made sure he was okay? He never really asked if Jack was. They never talked, like he stated.. He was vaguely aware of Dark’s hands holding his arms, gently. Eyes.. Soft, Mark.. Mark’s warmth he.. He felt it. That only got his blood boiling again, and he shoved the demon- he shoved a fucking demon. But he didn’t care. He didn’t give a damn anymore about what Dark could do to him. He had already done enough and it had been Jack’s fault. He crumpled.. He trembled with rage as his eyes pricked with tears. “Don’t! Don’t ever touch me again!” With a harsh breath and a quick wipe of his eyes with his sleeve Jack then stumbled onto his knees, losing focus as his shaking over took him… He reflected.. He pondered.. He looked up at the demon who only seemed.. Indifferent, maybe a little perturbed by his outburst. Did he enjoy this? Jack wondered out loud to himself as he looked back down feeling a bit selfish and sorry for himself.

 

“I jus’… Why.. Do I deserve this?.. I didn’ ask.. I didn’ ask te be in love with him… I didn’ ask fer these desires.. So why.. Why are you really doin’ this te me.. Are you my punishment? The Devil?”

 

He looked up again, fat tears welling up in his eyes, pleading for Dark to answer him. Hoping that the longer he stared, the answer would just suddenly appear. But Dark’s expression was.. Unreadable. And he was silent. Almost as if Jack hadn’t said anything at all. Maybe, maybe it was true.. This little exchange was nothing to Dark, and it really should’ve meant nothing  to Jack as well- but it did.. He was an emotional guy, with lots of feelings, a lot of empathy.. He.. He needed to know if this was all nothing but a game. Maybe if he got the answer, he’d call it quits. Dark would have his last laugh and Jack could get over this horrible feeling.. 

 

“Please.. Jus’ say it….. Jus’ break me down.. Hurt me… Tell me to my face that m’ nuthin more than a distraction.. Break my heart now instead of numbin’ it..!”

 

Dark blinked. And blinked again, a strained smile fell upon his face this time. Almost like he was pitying him. Like a poor wounded creature whose cries were too loud and strenuous to be near enough to finish the job. He shook his head and let out a throaty chuckle.

 

“Do you know, exactly what it is that you want? Is the answer clear in your mind? Do you want this?”

 

Jack was surprised by this, and the the questions caught him off guard as he thought about it. What did he want?.. He looked down and thought hard. The words were so simple and so clear, “I wan’… I want Ma…” he couldn’t say it. He didn’t have the heart to tell him, to say it to the demon’s face, even though they both knew.. He just knew that in his heart, it didn’t feel right to say it like this. All selfish and needy after what he had done. His hands were just as dirty as Dark’s.. “I don' know what I wan’ anymore..” He whispered quietly as tears slid down the edge of his nose. He held himself, wishing to be held. “Sean.. There's only.. There's… I..” Jack looked up again, startled by Dark’s sudden lack of words. He never stumbled.. A small glint of brown sparked in those dark orbs. Was.. Had Mark.. Before he could think about it for much longer, Dark cleared his throat and drew his hands behind his back. “This, this is a clear sign that I should go..” He stated. A sudden surge of loneliness stabbed Jack in the chest, and even though it was humiliating, he grabbed Dark’s leg with a shaking hand, tears flowing freely. 

 

“N-no, I- Wait- you can’ do that te me! You said you wouldn' hurt me! So- tell me te truth!”

 

Jack begged and Dark looked down and chuckled softly. “Ah.. The truth..” He sighed deeply.

 

“Would you even know, if I told you? I believe, I'm not the only one, hiding something for one reason.. Or another..”

 

“Don’ give me that Dark! Don’ do this te me!”

 

“Goodnight Sean..”

 

Dark shook him off as he turned away. The sound of the door closing resonated and echoed upon the empty walls. Jack, even though he knew he was probably out of earshot, screamed for the demon once more. “Dark!” With all the bitterness and self pity he could muster.. He cried for hours until he fell asleep, now confused more than ever.. Maybe being used and treated like a possession was.. Was a lie he wasn’t ready to give up just yet.. All he knew was that he wanted to be near them again..

  
  
  


Mark greeted Jack happily once he woke up and wandered downstairs to see his good friend slowly nibbling at bread. “Yote. What is up my dude?” He smiled warmly as he clasped a hand on his shoulder once he arrived at the island in the middle of the kitchen. Jack didn’t answer. But the american continued anyways. “You- oh… Hey.. Hey what's up? You okay?” His eyebrows furrowed upon seeing the Irishman’s exhausted, and blood shot eyes. Jack then quickly looked away, waving him off.

 

“Nuthin’.. Nuthin’ m’ jus’... I didn’ get a lotta sleep… M’... M’ gunna jus’ call it a day, m’ really exhausted.”

 

“You look… Like, drained. Emotionally.”

 

“Don’ worry about it okay? “

 

Mark bit his lip at the tiny and hard smile Jack tried to muster. Clearly something was wrong.. But the half Korean watched helplessly as his friend stood up and padded over to the staircase, Mark’s jaw tightened. He began to swiftly walk over in hopes of coaxing him to stay and talk about it if he wanted to. His voice soft and quite. “Well, you know I'm here to talk about anything.. You know I'll understand-“ 

 

Jack.. 

 

His Jack, snapped at him. Eyes sharp, hard, and clear. Teeth clenched. “I don' wanna hear it Mark.” Mark froze and stopped the hand that was about to reach out for him. He was completely flabbergasted, never had Jack just.. Done that. Jack seemed to realize this too as he sighed heavily. His features grew softer and he rubbed the back of his neck.

 

“Sorry.. Sorry, m’ so so sorry.. M’ sor- I.. Need sleep..”

 

It sounded like his friend was seconds away from crying… Mark felt, well he felt heartbroken seeing someone as happy as Jack so upset.  “Jack.... Fuck..” But his soft speech was too quiet for the other male to be heard as the Irishman slumped up to his room.

 

He wanted to follow, how  _ desperately _ he wanted to follow. He wasn't an idiot though. He knew Jack would tell, he could tell him anything. His chest tightened; a cold and sharp pain stabbed at him. His tongue tinged with a bitter taste in his mouth that made his already unsettled stomach lurch. Mark was lying to himself, and he knew it. The elder knew why; he knew what, the who, the how, the when. Where.. He knew everything. He  _ knew _ , and it  _ killed _ him inside that he was too much of a coward to speak up or say anything. His friend was obviously hurting, debatched and sucked dry.. Yet Jack was still sticking around because he valued their friendship. 

 

Mark is an asshole.

 

Now, with tears stinging his eyes, he wiped them away and kneaded his forehead with the edge of his rough palm. He groaned softly to himself as he heard a deep chuckle rise from within the pit of his chest. “Fff- No.. No no.. I’m not..” The words that he wanted to say only furthered the bitter taste in his tongue. It was futile at this point to even try and deny everything, but like Jack, he was too stubborn to say anything otherwise. All he wanted to do was to make all of this go away, go back to when Dark first showed his ugly face and squashed him down. This was a goddamn disaster and it was only fueling his travesty by dragging it out even more.

 

Reluctantly, and because he was afraid of the possibility of Jack heading back down stairs and seeing him like this, he shuffled swiftly to the bathroom. Hopefully, now that he was in a secure and small location, he could have room to think properly. Sighing softly, he took off his glasses. They had fogged up from his welling eyes and heated skin that was flushing on the edges of his cheeks bones. He pinched the bridge of his nose after he gingerly set his glasses on the smooth plaster of the sink and let out a deep exhale, laxing his tense shoulders. He blink a few times, staring at himself in the mirror. He didn’t look much better than Jack had. Hair tousled and eyes worn with dark circles, and yet his fans wouldn’t notice a thing. Or if they did, they wouldn’t have picked up on the _ ‘Why?’ _ at all. 

 

They  _ liked _ him looking this way. 

 

The thought flattered him a little, but at the same time, it hurt a bit too. They’d probably would be blind to his fatigue unless he had to out right whine about it, or fake a strain in his voice. He always had to make a big deal out of everything for people to notice his troubles. He couldn’t help it, he was too good at hiding. 

 

But Jack would know. 

 

Jack would be able to pick up on his body language. He was good at reading people like that, and more importantly, a good friend. Mark smiled softly, heat rising to his cheeks once more before he shook his head vigorously.

 

**Not gay.**

 

His heart rate began to speed up. Mark let out pithy inhale of breath as a rush of panic crashed into him. The broader male reached down to the faucet handles and splashed the cold water in his face, once he turned the tap on. Sighing in relief, Mark ran his now wet and cool hands over the back of his neck in a slow and soothing manner. As his hands glided over every dip and curve of his muscles, he allowed a contented noise to slip past his lips. It was somewhere between a sigh and a moan. Now with the american’s mind buzzing, his thoughts drifted once more...

 

Fingers running over a collarbone. Lips ghosting over the shell of an ear. A deep rumble of affection resonating deep within the pit of Mark’s chest. That pale neck tilted just so, begging to be marked... Pale? No not pale….. White and smooth like cream.. Mark, no matter how much he didn’t want to, couldn’t help but to remember that; warm, soft, cream white skin.. The smooth skin that trembled underneath his fingers, responding so nicely to a single touch. How those thick thighs felt in his firm grip. And those eyes. Those blue eyes. Those blue, fucking eyes. Those wide, bright, and beautiful eyes, that he couldn't help but to get lost in. How mesmerizing they were when they sparkled when excited. When they went a shade deeper when he was lost in lust. Their hue practically brighter when they were puffy and red from crying. He bit his lip and unconsciously grounded his hips forward and groaned softly. How much he wanted to hear those begs fall from those lips, how much he desires the touch of that skin, how much he craved for that control and fear… 

 

How much.. How much he _ ached _ to break him down, and lovingly put him back together again and- NO! 

 

The dark haired man trembled as he gripped the sink tightly, his knuckles turning white as fresh hot shame washed over his face. He let out a desperate and choked sob. How long was he going to keep lying to himself? To what degree was he going to keep convincing himself that what was going on was okay? Jack was just..  _ Suffering _ , and had been because of Mark for so long, and yet here he was. Still pretending like he never goddamn looked. Like he didn't cave in, like he wasn't enjoying.. No,  _ enthralled _ by this game! Like he wasn't in….

 

With trembling shoulders, Mark lifted his head, eyes, slowly opening. When had he shut them? His reflection, coming into focus, his mouth, pursed into a fine line before he frowned softly. Feeling sorry for himself. Mark looked himself in the mirror. His eyes darker than usual.  **His** eyes; strained, calculating, and cold. Through a hazy recognition of the senses, he managed to catch a voice. **His** voice. It repeated and echoed out his repressed thoughts straight back to consciousness. In a deep, somber, yet taunting hum. Telling him exactly what he had always known.

 

“You. Yes you. You're fucking disgusting. You know that?”


End file.
